Fill Your Cup

Our guest for today is Jen Domsic.  Jen is the owner of Jenergy Fitness & Wellness.  Jen does massage therapy, personal training and life coaching.  

Today we talk about the importance of filling your cup.  We talk about examples of things that we do to fill our cup which include personal quiet time, going for walks, competitive sports, surfing, running, getting pedicures and massages, and taking a timeout.  Jen talks about early burnout when she was first starting out and how anxiety and depression played a role in her life.  We also talk about the importance of supporting each other and having accountability and community and not allowing mom guilt to keep us from proper self-care.

In her highlight reel, Jen tells us about attending Crossfit classes at Saltwater Athletics and signing up for her very first competition! 

In her blooper reel, we get to hear a story from when showing off went wrong when she was in high school.

You can follow Jen on Instagram @jenergyfitness 

Sufficient

 adjective
suf·​fi·​cient | \ sə-ˈfi-shənt enough to meet the needs of a situation or a proposed end

In our supersized society, we hear the word sufficient and think it isn’t adequate. We like to be prepared, to have extra, to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we won’t run out. We like to feel in control. We like to think that we have the power in any given situation, and if we don’t, we spend all of our energy scrambling around trying to get it. It can be frustrating. It can be exhausting. There has to be a better way.

Sufficient literally means, “to have enough.” If I need 6 eggs for a recipe and I open the fridge to find exactly half a dozen in the carton, that is enough and I can proceed. What often happens though, is that I start to worry. If I use all of the eggs that I have left, what will happen if I want an egg for breakfast and don’t have one in the fridge to make? This is obviously a simple example and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I had to go one day without an egg for breakfast. I know I can stop by the store and get more. The problem is that we do this with other things. We start to attach our “what if’s” to our time, our money and our energy. We become stingy because we are afraid of running out. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have healthy boundaries. Boundaries are important and should be in place over all of those categories in your life. What I’m talking about is selfishness. We let fear crowd our better judgement and so we fearfully cling to things that we should be generous with because we can’t bear the thought of being without. 

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, God tell us, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” There is a lot to unpack in this short phrase, but once we really understand this and rest in it, we can truly live in freedom. 

First we need to decide how we view God. Is he a dictator, just telling us what to do but not really caring about us individually? Is he a genie, granting wishes to those who ask correctly? Is he a judge, weighing all of our behaviors in order to acquit or condemn us? The Bible tells us that God is love and that he loves each human being personally, that he is the way, the truth and the life, that he is the creator of the universe and that he is the first and the last, the beginning and end, that he has always existed and always will be. If we accept that all of those things are true, that makes God much bigger than us, with greater vision than we have, but also shows us that he takes a personal interest in each of us as individuals. 

The next thing we need to understand is grace. Grace is unmerited favor. In other words, it is receiving a kindness that I didn’t earn and don’t even deserve. True grace is a rare thing to see in our world. In general, we earn everything that we receive. We receive good grades because we study, we receive a paycheck because we work and we receive a promotion because we work hard and do our job well. It is also not the same as mercy. Mercy is not getting a punishment that you do deserve. It is being let off the hook when you really owe some sort of debt. In the case of grace, it requires the giver to share without any strings attached. You can’t lend grace. It has to be a gift, freely given, with no expectation for anything in return. 

Lastly we need to put the whole phrase together. My grace is sufficient for you. God’s grace, his unmerited favor, is enough for us. In other words, he will provide for us in our time of need. That doesn’t mean that we get everything that we want and sometimes he knows what we actually need better than we do, but he will take care of us. The second part of that phrase says, “my power is made perfect in weakness.” Weakness in this case is lack. In other words, I don’t need to fear running out of eggs. I don’t need to spend all of my energy storing up extra. I can use what he has provided and rest assured that he will provide more the next time that I have a need. This is obviously not about eggs. I can go to the store and get more of those anytime. However, this does pertain to time, money, energy and other things that we tightly hold on to. God extends grace to us and expects us to in turn to extend that to those around us. We can be generous with our time, talent and treasure because God has been generous in providing those things to us. He doesn’t give us gifts for us to hoard them for ourselves. He models grace for us so that we can also give it away. He provides everything we need and then tells us to love others well. I John 3:17 says, “If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?” This goes for other things too, not just money.

What does this mean for you? 

This means that you can live confidently and give freely. You are loved, you are provided for and that provision is sufficient. Go and do likewise.

Carpe diem,

Patricia 

Fitness in the Pandemic

Becky & Patricia discuss what they have been doing themselves as well as with their kids to stay fit and active during quarantine.

They also give several tips to help you narrow down your own fitness plan:

1) Be creative

2) Make sure it’s fun

3) Know your style – group fitness or solo

4) Have a plan

5) Have accountability

Detaching from the Outcome

Who won the game?  Did you PR in your race?  What score did you get?

We all care about the outcomes, sometimes a little too much.  For some people, the outcome is the only thing that matters.

What if we could embrace the process in a way that didn’t cause us so much anxiety?  What if we could stay present and find joy in the journey?

That is exactly what we talk about today with Jordyn Pugh, senior on the Loyola University Track & Field team.  Jordyn shares her experience and several tips on how to do this:

1) Be where your feet are
2) Wash the dishes
3) Find joy in the small moments
4) Embrace the process
5) Ask yourself hard questions

In her Highlight Reel, Jordyn talks about the show Drive to Survive and how she has become obsessed with Formula One Racing.

In her Blooper Reel, Jordyn talks about the painful process of cleaning snow off her car.

You can follow Jordyn on Instagram @jormpugh

 

Books

Becky & Patricia discuss the books they have read recently, where they find the time to read and what that looks like.

Books we talked about today:
Godmothers by Lisa Bevere (0:39)
Becoming Us by Beth & Jeff McCord (1:40)
Bringing Up Girls by Dr. Dobson (3:05)
Losing Brave by Stefne Miller & Bailee Madison (3:25)
Sold on a Monday by Kristina McMorris (3:51)
Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate (4:28)
New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp (5:28)
Dare to Lead by Brene Brown (5:57)

Perspective

How many times have you thought, hindsight is 20/20? If we had known some information now it would have changed how we went about a current situation. With age we grow wise to how life is a series of interactions with others. Will we approach them well or not? The fire on the boardwalk from far away looks incredibly different up close. From two blocks away vs close up as a firefighter’s view is quite different. The images are super sad and will impact many people in the days to come.

Perspective is everything. When looking closely at things in our life it can be hard to discern the depth of the issues. When things go opposite of what we envisioned having a clear purpose will help to stay the course. What is your why? Look at the painting here. From about 10 feet away you see a beautiful meadow type scene filled with peace and calm. But up close all the ridges of the paint are seen which include hard edges and sharp colors. It reminds me of life. When we are in a situation it is hard to see the big picture. The emotions of the situation are vibrant and strong. We need each other to help us remember to take a step back and think about our why. What this situation can be teaching us about ourselves or others in order to grow.

As moms we have a sense to always be on the ready. It could be help with chores, homework, diapers, making food, or just being present. We never know what our children will need. However we will always figure it out and jump into action!

When my daughter wanted to start skateboarding we went out and found wrist, elbow, and knee pads. As her mom ‘safety first’ rang in my mind. However at the skate park when she was supposed to get her gear on she did not want to skate anymore. I tried to get her to share why this was the case. Some of her reasons included: cold and windy out, tired, and changed her mind. All of these had some merit. It was 45 degrees out and windy. She and I had just finished rollerblading for a bit. The one that made me think twice was the change of mind. I let her sit in the car while I bladed a bit more and contemplated what was her 8 yr old perspective on the skateboarding fade. Was the gear uncomfortable? Was she feeling shy or embarrassed trying something new?

Fast forward a day later to a very sweet interaction with my daughter about the skate park incident. Which doesn’t always happen mind you! After stepping back and getting some perspective we were able to connect on what her heart was going through. These moments are priceless as a parent. They also happen in marriages, friendships, and work relationships. When we are able to give some space to others and care enough to put ourselves in their shoes we are able to build and mend bridges.

Humility is a word that is rarely used these days. It means to put the needs of another person before your own as well as to think of others above oneself. This definition hits home on many different levels. There are ways we do this well and others that need some work. When we are confronted with life situations to be humble what is our first response? Ignore the issue? Does it sting less by dismissing the issue? Being able to look a few steps ahead of how we want our relationship to be will help our reaction in the moment. This is a strategy that comes in handy.

Another phrase comes to mind that relates to this topic. ‘Slow to speak and quick to listen.’ This saying has been permanently ingrained in my heart. We have two ears and one mouth which makes me ponder how much I need to listen more before I speak.

At the end of the day the way we treat others is supreme. Finding perspective in the everyday moments of life. This too shall pass. How will we live so when we look back it will all be molded together and be a beautiful portrait?

Becky

Interrupted for Good

Life is full of interruptions.  Join us as we talk to Tierra Haynes about her life as the wife of a college basketball coach and mom to three very active boys.  

Tierra shares that although their life gets interrupted on a regular basis, God has always used those interruptions for their good.   She shares her advice for dealing with interruptions:

1) Hold on to the truth that you know
2) Know that God is working all things for your good
3) See how God has provided in the past

Tierra is the founder of Mommy on the Move and is now the proud author of The Adventures of Us, a children’s book about Guion Bluford, Jr., the first African American to experience space travel.  

You can follow Tierra on Instagram @mommyonthemove 

Home Projects

Becky & Patricia talk about the home projects that they have worked on over the past year.

At Becky’s house they rebuilt a 60 year old above ground pool and transported a huge gazebo from another location into their backyard.

Foundation for the pool
Building the pool walls
Gazebo arrival
Gazebo installed
Pineo backyard

Patricia built a brick patio and painted a fireplace

Fireplace before and after
We dug the patio area out by hand
Hollowell backyard
Laying the bricks

Children at Play

Have you ever sat at a playground and watched children play? For many of us this is how we fill our days in some seasons of our lives.

The kids climb, slide, and run as happy as can be. Nothing is wrong in their world. As each new child arrives they are welcomed into whatever game is being had. No questions, just a natural easy flow. I marvel at how quick children can make friends as well. They have a common purpose, to PLAY! Nothing will hinder their goal. I have also noticed that most of the time my own kids will not even find out the names of the other kids they played with. They just knew it was ok to play and have fun together.

As adults we grow leary of people and lose this simple mindset. I am challenged daily to remember how children engage in the world and are open to others coming into their life. Some will come in for a long time and others just a 30 minute play date at a playground. As we navigate our daily lives may we be challenged to embrace all the different people that come into our life.

My 8 year old daughter made a friend at her new school this year. I scheduled a skate date so they could play together. When we got home I asked if she enjoyed playing with Ciara (name changed to keep privacy). Her response was quick and thoughtful all at the same time. She said, “yes I did, but if we lived during Martin Luther King’s day we would not of been able to play together Mom.” She was referring to the fact that Ciara is African-American and she is white. I’m sure her teacher at school was teaching about Martin Luther King Jr. recently. However, hearing her make the point she made was a profound statement about how she felt. I hope I never forget her words. She loves her friends and realized that because she lives today she can be friends with all people. The way they look on the outside doesn’t have to determine if she is allowed to play with them or not. She added, “I’m glad I live now.”

We seem to take for granted what we do have these days. We can choose who we spend time with. We can see people for far beyond the outside appearance. I choose to be a welcomer and bridge for people to experience unity.

Martin Luther King Jr said, “that one day right down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.” It was his dream that has come true today. I hope that we as a people will remember his words and diligently stick together as one human race.

Next time you find yourself in the vicinity of children take a moment to watch how they play. We can all take a breath and realize that just as hard as life can be the joy that exudes from children at play is unmistakable. Finding the good in every person you meet is a positive way to live. Remembering that we all have our struggles and need to given grace. If we can see past the outer appearance and peer into the heart and soul of a person I guarantee you will see pieces of yourself. We all need each other.

Keep Moving!

Becky