Everybody wants to have GRIT, but very few can actually define what it is and how to have it. In today’s episode, we tackle that very subject.
Laura Matera is the Director of Surf and Skate for Fellowship of Christian Athletes and she shares her background and why GRIT has been so crucial in her life from raising 3 girls to losing her husband to cancer several years ago.
Laura defines GRIT as preparation + persistence and lists courage, motivation, character, integrity, and resolve in the face of difficulty as key ingredients. She talks about the importance of “staying in the game” and how important it is to remember that we are an example for someone else.
GRIT is not something we are born with. It is something that we can build and foster in ourselves and others. If we are going to stay in the game, we have to train and prepare daily by being disciplined and faithful in the little things so that when we go through hard things, we have a “sticktoitiveness.”
In her Highlight Reel, Laura shares about She Reads Truth, which is a company that sends devotional books to its subscribers. They also have a website and an app. In her Blooper Reel, she talks about her tax season fail the first time she had to do her family taxes.
Today we tackle the subject of self-sabotage. We spend time talking about various examples like food choices that make us feel bad later, playing the blame game, negative thought patterns, procrastination, fear of failure, and the need for control. We give real-life examples from the realm of high school athletics, adult life, and also examples as moms.
Our strategies for combatting self-sabotage are: 1) Identify our tendencies 2) Identify our thought patterns 3) Process through it with journaling or talking to a counselor 4) Identify what you really want and then make small changes in that direction 5) Be willing to fail and then fail forward 6) Create accountability to push us forward and encourage us 7) Don’t compare yourself to others 8) Learn to love the process
In her Highlight Reel, Becky talks about setting up her living room so that it feels pulled together on a small budget.
In her Blooper Reel, Patricia shares another mother of the year moment from leaving the toddler to his own devices.
If you have a subject that you would like to talk about or something that you would like to share on the show, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Our guest for today is Jen Domsic. Jen is the owner of Jenergy Fitness & Wellness. Jen does massage therapy, personal training and life coaching.
Today we talk about the importance of filling your cup. We talk about examples of things that we do to fill our cup which include personal quiet time, going for walks, competitive sports, surfing, running, getting pedicures and massages, and taking a timeout. Jen talks about early burnout when she was first starting out and how anxiety and depression played a role in her life. We also talk about the importance of supporting each other and having accountability and community and not allowing mom guilt to keep us from proper self-care.
In her highlight reel, Jen tells us about attending Crossfit classes at Saltwater Athletics and signing up for her very first competition!
In her blooper reel, we get to hear a story from when showing off went wrong when she was in high school.
adjective suf·fi·cient | \ sə-ˈfi-shənt : enough to meet the needs of a situation or a proposed end
In our supersized society, we hear the word sufficient and think it isn’t adequate. We like to be prepared, to have extra, to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we won’t run out. We like to feel in control. We like to think that we have the power in any given situation, and if we don’t, we spend all of our energy scrambling around trying to get it. It can be frustrating. It can be exhausting. There has to be a better way.
Sufficient literally means, “to have enough.” If I need 6 eggs for a recipe and I open the fridge to find exactly half a dozen in the carton, that is enough and I can proceed. What often happens though, is that I start to worry. If I use all of the eggs that I have left, what will happen if I want an egg for breakfast and don’t have one in the fridge to make? This is obviously a simple example and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I had to go one day without an egg for breakfast. I know I can stop by the store and get more. The problem is that we do this with other things. We start to attach our “what if’s” to our time, our money and our energy. We become stingy because we are afraid of running out. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have healthy boundaries. Boundaries are important and should be in place over all of those categories in your life. What I’m talking about is selfishness. We let fear crowd our better judgement and so we fearfully cling to things that we should be generous with because we can’t bear the thought of being without.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9, God tell us, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” There is a lot to unpack in this short phrase, but once we really understand this and rest in it, we can truly live in freedom.
First we need to decide how we view God. Is he a dictator, just telling us what to do but not really caring about us individually? Is he a genie, granting wishes to those who ask correctly? Is he a judge, weighing all of our behaviors in order to acquit or condemn us? The Bible tells us that God is love and that he loves each human being personally, that he is the way, the truth and the life, that he is the creator of the universe and that he is the first and the last, the beginning and end, that he has always existed and always will be. If we accept that all of those things are true, that makes God much bigger than us, with greater vision than we have, but also shows us that he takes a personal interest in each of us as individuals.
The next thing we need to understand is grace. Grace is unmerited favor. In other words, it is receiving a kindness that I didn’t earn and don’t even deserve. True grace is a rare thing to see in our world. In general, we earn everything that we receive. We receive good grades because we study, we receive a paycheck because we work and we receive a promotion because we work hard and do our job well. It is also not the same as mercy. Mercy is not getting a punishment that you do deserve. It is being let off the hook when you really owe some sort of debt. In the case of grace, it requires the giver to share without any strings attached. You can’t lend grace. It has to be a gift, freely given, with no expectation for anything in return.
Lastly we need to put the whole phrase together. My grace is sufficient for you. God’s grace, his unmerited favor, is enough for us. In other words, he will provide for us in our time of need. That doesn’t mean that we get everything that we want and sometimes he knows what we actually need better than we do, but he will take care of us. The second part of that phrase says, “my power is made perfect in weakness.” Weakness in this case is lack. In other words, I don’t need to fear running out of eggs. I don’t need to spend all of my energy storing up extra. I can use what he has provided and rest assured that he will provide more the next time that I have a need. This is obviously not about eggs. I can go to the store and get more of those anytime. However, this does pertain to time, money, energy and other things that we tightly hold on to. God extends grace to us and expects us to in turn to extend that to those around us. We can be generous with our time, talent and treasure because God has been generous in providing those things to us. He doesn’t give us gifts for us to hoard them for ourselves. He models grace for us so that we can also give it away. He provides everything we need and then tells us to love others well. I John 3:17 says, “If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?” This goes for other things too, not just money.
What does this mean for you?
This means that you can live confidently and give freely. You are loved, you are provided for and that provision is sufficient. Go and do likewise.
Becky & Patricia discuss the books they have read recently, where they find the time to read and what that looks like.
Books we talked about today: Godmothers by Lisa Bevere (0:39) Becoming Us by Beth & Jeff McCord (1:40) Bringing Up Girls by Dr. Dobson (3:05) Losing Brave by Stefne Miller & Bailee Madison (3:25) Sold on a Monday by Kristina McMorris (3:51) Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate (4:28) New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp (5:28) Dare to Lead by Brene Brown (5:57)
How many times have you thought, hindsight is 20/20? If we had known some information now it would have changed how we went about a current situation. With age we grow wise to how life is a series of interactions with others. Will we approach them well or not? The fire on the boardwalk from far away looks incredibly different up close. From two blocks away vs close up as a firefighter’s view is quite different. The images are super sad and will impact many people in the days to come.
Perspective is everything. When looking closely at things in our life it can be hard to discern the depth of the issues. When things go opposite of what we envisioned having a clear purpose will help to stay the course. What is your why? Look at the painting here. From about 10 feet away you see a beautiful meadow type scene filled with peace and calm. But up close all the ridges of the paint are seen which include hard edges and sharp colors. It reminds me of life. When we are in a situation it is hard to see the big picture. The emotions of the situation are vibrant and strong. We need each other to help us remember to take a step back and think about our why. What this situation can be teaching us about ourselves or others in order to grow.
As moms we have a sense to always be on the ready. It could be help with chores, homework, diapers, making food, or just being present. We never know what our children will need. However we will always figure it out and jump into action!
When my daughter wanted to start skateboarding we went out and found wrist, elbow, and knee pads. As her mom ‘safety first’ rang in my mind. However at the skate park when she was supposed to get her gear on she did not want to skate anymore. I tried to get her to share why this was the case. Some of her reasons included: cold and windy out, tired, and changed her mind. All of these had some merit. It was 45 degrees out and windy. She and I had just finished rollerblading for a bit. The one that made me think twice was the change of mind. I let her sit in the car while I bladed a bit more and contemplated what was her 8 yr old perspective on the skateboarding fade. Was the gear uncomfortable? Was she feeling shy or embarrassed trying something new?
Fast forward a day later to a very sweet interaction with my daughter about the skate park incident. Which doesn’t always happen mind you! After stepping back and getting some perspective we were able to connect on what her heart was going through. These moments are priceless as a parent. They also happen in marriages, friendships, and work relationships. When we are able to give some space to others and care enough to put ourselves in their shoes we are able to build and mend bridges.
Humility is a word that is rarely used these days. It means to put the needs of another person before your own as well as to think of others above oneself. This definition hits home on many different levels. There are ways we do this well and others that need some work. When we are confronted with life situations to be humble what is our first response? Ignore the issue? Does it sting less by dismissing the issue? Being able to look a few steps ahead of how we want our relationship to be will help our reaction in the moment. This is a strategy that comes in handy.
Another phrase comes to mind that relates to this topic. ‘Slow to speak and quick to listen.’ This saying has been permanently ingrained in my heart. We have two ears and one mouth which makes me ponder how much I need to listen more before I speak.
At the end of the day the way we treat others is supreme. Finding perspective in the everyday moments of life. This too shall pass. How will we live so when we look back it will all be molded together and be a beautiful portrait?